This one was a doozy. It’s about to get very personal, so wear your seat belt, please. (“Buckle up!”)
In this True Tale of Immigration, Rufat Agayev shares about fleeing Azerbaijan to come to America, his time as a Christian rapper (he’s now athiest), and his assessment of the things that truly bind us together.
Rufat shares about his friendship with Christian Armenian rapper: Ruslan.
I believe we get a kick out of trying to offend each other because our bond as refugees from Azerbaijan is stronger than any man-made religion.
“C.R.I.S.I.S. (Christian Rappers Influenced by Scripture Infiltrating Satan)” by Rufat Agayev, Alien Nation: 36 True Tales of Immigration
This quote in particular struck me to my core. My heart is in pain and I don’t understand why.
So let me tell you my thoughts.
First and foremost, people are people, regardless of religion, ethnicity, or politics. My Muslim friends told me this. We are people first. Everything else can be changed. I was an Orthodox Christian at the time. Our similarities and shared experiences were stronger than our differences.
I once read in the book Annals of a Quiet Neighborhood by George MacDonald, “We are not bodies with souls; we are souls with bodies.” (I vividly remember this quote from my childhood, but I could be paraphrasing. Anyway this is how I remember it.) You don’t HAVE a soul. You ARE a soul!
My body, my sex, my gender – none of that is important. All of that can be changed. My soul, my intrinsic me-ness, THAT is who I am.
Shared experiences are a fast track to connection, it’s why we try to relate to each other […]
“C.R.I.S.I.S. (Christian Rappers Influenced by Scripture Infiltrating Satan)” by Rufat Agayev, Alien Nation: 36 True Tales of Immigration
it is shared experience that binds us together.
So I want to share a few things. Bear with me.
When I was 15 I met some dancers from the North Caucasus. I thought they were the most impressive dance group I’d ever seen, and I still do. I was a ballet dancer, and we exchanged dances. They taught me some Russian words, so I started studying to be able to speak with them. Charades is fun, but so is language.
I started reading everything I could find on the dial-up Internet about the Caucasus and Caucasians and tumbled into a rabbit hole of such complexity… I was hooked.
Eventually, I ordered a copy of Ali and Nino by Kurban Said, which became my favorite book. I now have a whole bookshelf filled with literature about the Caucasus. Culture. History. Novels. An obscure film from 1959, The White Warrior starring steve reeves, based on the book Hadji Murat by Leo Tolstoy.
I even have my own connection to the Caucasus. While researching my genealogy, I discovered that when my ancestors came to America from Ukraine, another branch of them went to a small city in the North Caucasus (now considered southern Russia). Some distant relatives were born there.
I told you it would get personal.
After 20 years, my heart still aches. The situation there grieves me. The desire to go and see for myself the land my relatives walked is with me every day. When I went looking for information at 15, what I found was a culture so rich and beautiful, and a history so bloody and tragic, that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. My peers didn’t understand suicide bombers. I was inspired and heartbroken. I knew the people around me wouldn’t understand or care. I had stars in my eyes and grief in my heart. I would cry over my Russian books, because even studying the common language caused me pain. I never had anyone to share this interest with.
I will probably never meet Rufat Agayev, but if I could, I’d like to say…something profound. But, honestly, it would probably go something like, “Thank you for existing. It’s an honor to meet a real Caucasian.”
I wasn’t expecting to share anything so personal on this blog. But here we are.
If you read this far, thank you for your time. And if you also love the Caucasus – the land, the people, the culture, the history – please, share in the comments. Let me know I’m not the only one.
From my soul to yours,
— Shalanosa
Shalanosa's Sanctuary 